2.20.2006

Life, Love and Four Words

I realize that I haven't posted here in quite sometime so I guess I will use this post to do a little life recap and a little thinking about the future.

First of all last week's Valentine's Day was nice. Yeah, I used the word nice. Justin did a great job of cooking me dinner and spending time with me that night but for some odd reason I really wish we had done something else. Ok, I know what you are about to say, "You should be thankful for what you have!" and really I am. I just wish that Justin would think outside of the box sometimes. When we were first dating he used to always say the right things to me and take me out to dinner. Now that we are living together we never go out to eat just the two of us and especially not to somewhere fancy. He conviently never has money when it is Sweetest Day, My Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day...I guess I just want a little romance in my life. Some that I didn't have to suggest!

Second, I fucking hate my job. I hate it. More than I hated my job with the Pistons, more than I hate Kobe Bryant, more than I hate Justin's old best friend. I hate my job! My boss is crazy, steals money from the organization and is a pathological liar. Can you blame me for hating it so much? I have never come home from work and been so tired everyday from the verbal abuse that I get in the office from my boss.

So with that being said I am once again beginning to try and figure out where my life is taking me. I feel that Justin and I need to start making decisions about our future. If there is such a thing as our future. (I sometimes think I have given up part of my "I" to be a part of this "we" and it has been frustrating.) I am starting to sit down and write down my life goals and what makes me happy so that I can focus on myself for a bit. I need to be focused on my career, but more importantly on what I want out of life. How can I expect to be happy when I don't know what I want. (I hate being the kids of the hippie generation! None of us are happy!) It has been hard for me in this respect because Justin loves having his own company and I wish we lived in Boston. How we are going to compromise on this one should be interesting.

But no matter what is going on in my life right now at least I get to utter these four words at least: Pitchers and Catchers Reported!

5 comments:

jaynar said...

Um, yeah. Compromising? Doesn't always work. Apparently I can't compromise on some things.

You know that whole nationality thing and upbringing thing can't be changed. So, can't really compromise there. Yes. I'm still in a bitter phase. Give me a few days, OK?

Rebecca said...

figuring out your goals is really important. there are some things that should not be compromised on... love is so often not enough. you need to want the same things, or you will resent him for what you can't have. If you give up too much, you will wake up one day wondering what happened to YOU.

Michelle said...

I could not agree with you more Rebecca. I know that he isn't doing this on purpose and talking about it has helped. And I also know that I have to take responsibility and let him know what I want that is going to make me happy...too bad it is season tickets to the Red Sox! :)

Rebecca said...

yeah, compromise can suck sometimes, and I've read Comerica is not exactly a field of dreams when it comes to a substitute. I can get to quite a few games from CT, but mostly I survive on MLB.tv

Anonymous said...

Hey Michelle,

Have Justin and Jessica ever hooked up? It looks like she wants him in every pic.. Better watch out!