Just A Chick and Her Pole

I have always dreamed of being a stripper. I know...I have already heard it from everyone I know that they think that I am crazy and wasted a hell of a lot of money on college if the only thing that I wanted out of life was to be a stripper, but this dream goes way beyond an occupation for me.

I love strippers because they actually have the guts to take their tops off and dance provocatively in front of completely strange and helpless men. I can go about a minute and a half attempting to be sexy in front of my boyfriend and then I just fall over laughing. (or is that him laughing?) I just find it so interesting in this time of women's liberation that we are still so self conscience about our bodies. Especially in front of people who have seen us naked and by this point don't really look at us for all our imperfections. I just keep thinking to myself if I was that comfortable with my body and my sexuality the sky is the limit. I mean I could fake put myself through college about a million times.

I also want to be a stripper because every time "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard comes on at the bar, in my car, on my iPod at the Gym I want to find the nearest support beam and dance as if I had been doing it for years. You know the dance...You toss your hair around like it doesn't give you a headache, you grab your only other secure friend and pretend as if you are lesbians, and then you pull your shirt, tank top, etc. up just to the point that every man around you thinks they are going to see tit. During this year's Eastern Conference Finals for the Pistons I had one night where I had one too many pitchers of beer and seemed to draw a crowd which gives me hope that my dream just may come true.

Last but not least, you can't tell me that it isn't every man's dream to sleep with a stripper. Five months into my current relationship and my boyfriend felt comfortable enough one night to tell me he almost got a stripper when he was in NYC with his friends. Amazingly he was proud of this as well! He met her in the VIP room one afternoon at the strip club (I know what a high roller, huh?) and went out for a drink with her after she got off. He gave her his number and she actually called him. Somehow from that phone call he concluded that she was going to sleep with him but what man doesn't? Based on that I had a thought is it the stripper with her fake big boobs that they dream of sleeping with or is it just that strippers seem confident and so they see it as a competition to get with them?

If I don't find some sort of professional job soon I might actually just have to start working out a bit so that I can actually fulfill my dream and then my man can finally fulfill his as well.